Now That's What I Call Alternative Literature


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'Progress' by Austin Islam

i’m interested in the effects of a combination of amphetamine salts and oxycodone upon my productivity at work

by ‘productivity at work’ i mean studying for class and writing poems in tumblr text drafts while clocked in, wearing a shirt & tie

by ‘studying for class’ i mean reading six textbook pages at a time, continually checking my phone for updates and taking sips of lukewarm farmer bros. coffee

by ‘updates’ i mean texts from a cute girl i have been talking to, junk emails, facebook notifications, new interactions on twitter, facebook messages



the cute girl i’ve been talking to said re: a page of prose poetry i wrote about her and emailed to her, ‘i like it’

referring to a motif in it re: our ‘percent inclination’ to kiss each other, she said ‘i will never tell you my percent’

the word ‘never’ seems hyperbolic in this context and in most contexts i have heard it in

it seems like she is intentionally trying to give me the impression that she has no intention of kissing me,

which seems somewhat contradictory to other impressions she has given me including sending a text which read ‘i need you to snuggle with’ and also sending me sensual messages in body language

possibly her intention is to ‘use me’ for sex, she briefly admitted doing that re: other guys, although that may have been a humorous exaggeration, hard to tell at this juncture in time

if i willingly offer sexual favors in the hope that they will make me relevant in her social life long enough for me to make the case that i am worth ‘dating’ is she still ‘using’ me

seems like the field experience and vicarious pleasure gained from performing unrequited sexual favors for her could compensate for a possible environment of emotional inequity or noncommittal ambiguity in the relationship

one of my goals is to become more comfortable with situational ambiguity in any given thing i am doing

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austin islam is running game. don’t listen to him.
seriously, don’t.
austincharcoal.tumblr.com
@austincharcoal

tags: austin islam